I love asking people interesting questions to get to know them. One of my favorites is, “Where’s your ‘happy place’?”
If you were to ask me that question, I’d give what is undoubtedly a very non-traditional answer.
I think most people would expect an answer like, “On a beach, with a drink in my hand.” Or, “Curled up in bed with a good book, on a rainy day.”
Those who know me well know that I’ve never been a “party girl” – I’m the person at every event who shows up and spends the whole evening in the corner, petting the dog. (What? I *really* love dogs)
So, “On a dance floor” would probably never make anyone’s top-ten guesses as to my answer, when posed that question.
It is, though. Specifically, a LGBTQ-wedding dance floor. And I’m going to tell you why, friend.
Is it fun? Sure. Is the atmosphere electric? Absolutely. (I have learned, incidentally, that there are two options when Britney comes on during a gay wedding reception: 1) Dance, or 2) Move out of the way, and quickly).
Parties happen every day, though. Drinks are had, lyrics are belted out, someone inevitably spins around drunkenly on their back as friends circle them and chant their name…and only 50-60 percent of the night’s happenings are able to be recalled the next morning. It’s all a blast–but that’s not what makes it my happy place.
That comes from soaking in the whole scene, starting with the sidelines, and honing in on the nuances. There are the elderly grandparents, seated at the tables because their dancing days are in the rear view mirror, now. Maybe they’ve been champions of gay rights for their whole lives–or maybe, if you listen carefully, you’ll hear them say things like, “I didn’t always understand, but I’m learning. And they’re happy–that’s all that matters to me. I’m so proud of them.”
Then there are the children, to whom this day is just an excuse for a big party–and they and their dance moves are the star. The cake may be rainbow-colored, and the vows at the end of that whole long boring pre-show may have been non-traditional and made a bunch of adults cry…but the fact that there are two brides or two grooms or any other combination of celebrants matters *not one bit*. Two cool people got married today–and they see that as being as simple and as uncomplicated as it should be.
There are the other guests, too. Maybe they are seated at tables, enjoying the drunken-tomfoolery from afar, and just soaking in the absolute bonfire of happiness with a smile and a G&T in hand. Maybe they’re on the dance floor, 100% committed to the Electric Slide even though they only know 20% of the steps–and are joyfully throwing dignity to the wind. Maybe they’re another version of day-to-day-me, with two left feet and looking around hopefully for a dog.
But what no one is doing is looking over their shoulder, worrying that they are anything less than 100% loved, and accepted. Dance partners are chosen with no second thought as to what anyone else will think. When the DJ plays that one slow love song that’s guaranteed to get every couple on the dance floor, tender glances and slow kisses are abundant–and blissfully uninhibited.
In the center of it all is one couple, who have worked incredibly hard for this day in so many ways. Who wondered if this moment would ever come for them, and who have worried at least a handful of times that it could all be taken away. Maybe they haven’t been planning this day since childhood, because they haven’t known what it would look like–or had the courage to dream of it in color. Or maybe they have, and it’s the fulfillment of everything they ever wanted.
But the day is finally here for them, and all of the “expected” things are checked off of their list. The ink from the signatures is dry, the “performance jitters” from exchanging vows in front of so many people has made its way out of their systems…and all that’s left is to soak it all in. To surround themselves with all of their favorite people, and dive into the absolute MOSH PIT of joy and happiness that is their culmination of their most ambitious dreams.
The dance floor at a LGBTQ wedding is a beautiful microcosm of the very best of humanity, for me. It’s the world that I want for my own children, the crowd that I want them to be surrounded by. It’s the world that I want for EVERYBODY–gay, straight, and everything in between.
So if you want to know where my happy place is, my answer is as simple and as complicated as that–half-deaf from Britney, and Abba’s Dancing Queen–with tears in my eyes, on the center of a dance floor.
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