The Best Investment You Can Make While Planning Your Wedding | by Randi Fracassi
Thought I was gonna say me, huh? As much as I would like to say that a wedding planner is the best investment you can make–or even a photographer, videographer, or great food–I can’t lie to y’all. Although having a planner in your arsenal of vendors more often than not pays for itself in savings, time, and stress, I’m not going to attempt to sell you on those points. However, as I’ve been thinking on the idea of wedding investments and what actually does make the day memorable, I’ve come to one conclusion.
None of it matters.
Okay, wait–I know what you’re thinking, but stay with me on this.
The money spent on photography, food, the perfect venue. The most gorgeous dress, the gifts for your bridal party…none of it really matters. How your wedding looks, or what your guests say about it: doesn’t matter. Money, after all, is only valid because we believe in the value a fancy piece of paper holds in exchange for another thing. I live for the Dr. Suess quote, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” All of the “things” and services on a wedding day mean next to nothing if you don’t make this one key investment that we’re about to talk about.
And that is, the investment into your marriage:
A wedding, after all (from my Christian upbringing on what a wedding is supposed to be) is the covenant exchange between you and your future spouse. To build a life together. To always support one another, and be each other’s partner in building a future. Essentially, it could be just you and your spouse making this promise to each other, and it’s bonafide. The officiate just acts as a witness (thank you, government, for being ever-present in the biggest moments of life)!
Alas, I digress.
When you have a wedding, you make a sacred promise to each other to begin your marriage. Whether you use traditional “love, honor, obey; in sickness and in health” vows, or write your own–you do make that commitment to one another. To listen to each other always, compromise when necessary (and equally). To take care each other spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally; and always the other above yourself. Marriage means making hard decisions, and lots of little decisions. It means making big family and financial choices. You’re also dealing with the merging of two separate lives into one (again, thanks government). There are a whole lot of things that go into this marriage journey, and it’s incredibly different from your dating life. Even if you’ve been with each other for a long time, this is on another level – and it’s an immediate change.
Setting yourself up right for this change in your relationship and new chapter in your life should be the biggest priority in your wedding investment.
Even if you’re not getting married by a traditional priest or pastor who offers counseling services, most therapists offer pre-marital counseling, too. Bringing to light the issues that may arise as you navigate your married life together before you’re married is a great idea. This will ensure that you’re prepared when you need tools to communicate effectively down the road!
All married couples need effective communication skills. Whether there are arguments, the unloading of stress onto one another, or simply sharing your successes…communication is always key. You need to know that when conflicts do arise, you as a couple have that firm foundation necessary for a healthy issue resolution.
The idea of investing in premarital counseling can seem like another additional expense–and it is. But, in the long run, the conversations that occur in the very beginning–having already talked about them in a safe and moderated environment before you’re juggling bills, kids, work, and other stressors, together–will set you and your marriage up for the best success.
We’re all trying to beat the 50% statistic of failed marriages here.
The best investment you can make to ensure that your marriage and the life you’re building with your soul mate is a success is to get premarital counseling or therapy. Marriage is a big commitment! Making sure that you’re both on the same page in regards to your core values and your vision for your lives together is so important.
I hope this was helpful and enlightening, friends. And I hope that you take into serious consideration the value of having premarital counseling and investing in valuable, deep conversations to set up your marriage with the best foundation possible.
Randi Fracassi is a wedding planner over at Poppy Lane Events LLC. Check out these other great articles in her wedding planning series, Successful Vendor Meetings, Being A Bridesmaid, Intentional Planning, and Ceremony Tips